Case of the Missing Self – by Len Barrow

Case of the Missing Self – Part One

By Len Barrow

Surfers and watermen routinely go through unusual experiences that they cannot describe to non surfers. They say “only a surfer knows the feeling” is a description of this phenomena. We literally cannot describe the wonderful experience to non-surfers.

Despite this let me try to describe the experience and the outcome as it is both exciting and it relates to our study of Zen and the waterman experience.

Sometimes when I surf everything comes together perfectly. You time the take off just right, launch into the lip effortlessly, do a floater in the sweet spot, or position yourself for a tube ride. In this moment you are at a high state of attention, a bit fearful, and the serotonin and adrenalin is rushing through your body.

I had a most unusual experience once at Mokuleia on the North West shore of Oahu. The day was semi large and the waves were hollow yet make-able. I took off on a set and heard my friends hoot. My next memory was kicking out 70 yards in at the end of the wave with a feeling of intense exhilaration. I did not know were I went nor what I did yet I felt content strangely intimate with nature. It was like a birthing experience. YET I COULD NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THE WAVE: IN EFFECT I DISSAPEARD YET WAS THERE AT THE SAME TIME.

I paddled out to where my friends were sitting to find that I had gotten a perfect stand up barrel. How could I have missed this experience? Also, how could I miss something like this and feel so good about it?

I thought about it and came up with this answer. In surfing, whenever you think about something while you are on the wave, you screw up you maneuver or barrel or what have you. In a way your mind and self has to be completely emptied out. When your mind is scrambled it is hard to enjoy the surfing experience. Perfect surfing comes when you are in tune with the wave , its timing and its sections that you forget the chatter in your head, you forget your ego and you literally blend in the wave and nature: something I would term as a type of background consciousness that we all have. For me, this “Falling away of the self” is one of the requirements of surfing in its top form.

Interestingly, this is similar to Zen meditation and its goals. In Zen meditation one is taught to watch ones breathing. As a breath comes in it is counted. As a breath comes out it is counted. This process goes up to ten and you start over again. If a thought comes in to your mind you just let it go or don’t grasp to it and begin your counting at one again. The goal is to calm the mind and let the self fall away. You get to a point of the ego diminishing and the self meshing with the background of nature; a similar feeling that I get deep in the barrel!

I find it wonderful to see that calm focused surfing is so similar to Zen meditation. I wish that the reader would try to apply the things I have discussed. Here is how to do it. Before paddling out don’t drink a tank of coffee. Have some water. Take your time waxing up and walk down to the break. Don’t be in a frenzied hurry. Begin focusing your mind on the conditions. What is the swell direction? Where are the channels? What is the tide and current doing? Then sit quietly on the beach. Keep your back strait and cross your legs while sitting down. You can do this without drawing too much attention to yourself. Here is where you count your breaths. Count the in breath as one and the out breath as two. Go up to ten. When a thought comes into your mind just recognize it and let it pass by as a cloud in the sky would pass a mountain (your mind being the still mountain , unmovable!) and start at one again. Don’t worry if you can barely get to three or four. It takes practice and you get better with time.

Take this calm mind and paddle out into the water, this time counting your paddling strokes in the same manner. You can take two strokes of the left and right arms as “one” count and so forth. When you get out to the break, don’t focus on the crowd but focus on the conditions and where the bowl is. When your mind wanders refocus it on the conditions just as you would refocus your mind on your breath while meditating. This is very important. Refocus on the conditions (it never gets boring because the conditions are always changing) just as you would refocus your breath in meditation. Use the breath and refocusing on the conditions “as the hook of the mind“ This is actual Zen terminology.

Then take this relaxed mind set to your wave and just flow with it. Have a go with this technique. It may do wonders for your surfing. If not, it will surely enhance your enjoyment of the surfing and waterman experience.

Stay tuned for my next article: Case of the missing Self Two

2009 Molokai Channel Crossing - Mental notes- by Robert Stehlik

My wife asked me after the Molokai race: "What were you thinking about for those six hours?" My reply: "I was trying not to think about anything."
'nuff said...

I had several more people ask me what was going through my head during the Molokai crossing, so while it is still fresh in my mind, I will write down some thoughts on the mental aspect of the crossing. So, if the short answer above is not enough for you, read on.

Focus:
One of the most important aspects in Stand Up Paddling is maintaining balance. To achieve peak performance it is critical to stay focused. Keeping my focus sharp for the 6+ hours it took to complete the 32 mile race was a big challenge for me. Focus is important in every sport. In surfing for example you need to be fully focused when you are catching and riding the wave but when you are paddling back out or waiting for the next set you can let the mind wander, daydream, talk story or whatever without major consequence as long as you can turn off the chatter and fully focus when you swing the board around to catch the next wave. When you are racing on a SUP you need to stay focused the whole time, which is easier said than done.

Training:
When my mind starts to wander I slow down, miss bumps and/or loose my balance and fall in. One of my goals in training was to work on keeping focused and balanced. Doing long distance paddle sessions for five or more hours prepared me for the race endurance wise but was also important to train the mind to stay focused for a long time.

Music:
Many paddlers use waterproof MP3 players to allow them to relax. I have tried this and found that it makes the session more fun and does help me relax. I decided not to take music with me for these reasons:
1) It's more equipment to deal with- I like to keep things as simple as possible.
2) I found that it can be distracting- for example: songs can trigger memories, the earphones get loose or start to be irritating, I'm in the mood for different music, batteries go dead, etc.
3) It's a crutch- I find that although it helps, I don't need music to relax and focus.

I know that it works for others. Jamie Mitchell, 8 times Molokai champion cruises to his itunes and it obviously works for him- so don't take my word for it, try what works for yourself.

Relaxed Focus:
This was my mantra that I kept repeating to myself during the race. I tried to keep my mind clear and when I noticed I was losing my focus or having distracting thoughts, I would repeat this in my head along with some other words I would repeat to myself.

Relax Plenty
It was the first time I did the Molokai crossing and I was not sure exactly what to expect. I started out at a steady pace that I knew I could keep up for the whole race. I kept thinking about something Aaron Napoleon said about going downwind and catching bumps. He said something like- I see some guys paddling so hard non stop, when I ride bumps I relax plenty.
I have a lot of respect for Aaron, he is one of the fastest guys in the water, low key and a super tough waterman. So I have this recording of Aaron in his pidgin saying: I relax plenty and kept playing it to myself.
There were lots of bumps to ride and the easterly winds made for good bump riding. I kept taking a few hard strokes and then relaxing, getting long gliding rides and making good time. I felt strong and relaxed and I actually thought I should push harder or I would not feel totally exhausted by the finish line.

Glide:
I did not repeat this word to myself but it was my goal- to glide, so I'm putting it in here.
I think this is the key to doing well in the Molokai race. If you counted all the strokes each paddler took, I'm sure that the winner, Ekolu Kalama, crossed the channel with less strokes than any other paddler by gliding more and paddling less.

The last 5 miles:
Todd Bradley told me- The race does not really start until the last 5 miles. Although I had trained for the tough finish and paddled around Portlock Point many times, I did not really understand what he meant until I had to do it myself. The water got choppy, there was a current and it became more and more difficult to catch bumps. Dave Parmenter described it as going through quicksand which is exactly what it felt like to me.


Distractions:
I did not see any other solo paddlers (we had white shirts) for the whole race until right before Portlock point, when Jenny Kalmbach from the Big Island caught up to me. She was paddling strong and I was running out of steam. I lost my relaxed focus and just tried hard to keep up with her pace. My forearm muscles felt tight and started cramping. Negative thoughts started filling my head. I fell in and as I got back up on the board my abdominal muscles cramped up, something that has never happened to me before. I hit myself in the stomach to loosen up the cramp, then tried to stretch. I finally loosened up and kept going. I knew I could not keep paddling at Jenny's pace but I also knew that once I got close to China Walls I would be able to catch some waves and stay close to shore, I had practiced this many times, so I just had to get there. I tried to relax and just focus on catching bumps. The waves were disorganized and choppy but there were still some bumps to catch and by focusing on using every little push, I was able to make steady progress while conserving the little strength I had left.

Relief:
I got to China Walls and was pushed in by a couple of waves, then snuck through the reef pass without losing my board and felt a great sense of relief. Almost there. I caught a couple more waves and stayed close to shore. I did it, just a little more! Finishing this race was a huge accomplishment for me and it felt great.

Now What?
Another interesting thing is how I felt a couple of days after the race. I put so much time and energy into this goal and finally accomplished it. So now what? I had neglected many things in my day to day life (yes, I work and have a family and am not a professional athlete) to prepare for the race and now was the time to get caught up with everything. I was stoked and proud but I found myself feeling tired and frustrated, I did not feel like getting caught up on my to do list at all, or anything, really, I just wanted to be a couch potato, which made me feel worse. Luckily that did not last long. I started training for the Duke's race which is coming up soon and am applying some of my energy and persistence towards work and the goals I have for my business. I'm also setting a goal for next year's Molokai race, maybe I'll see you there.
Aloha,
Robert Stehlik

For more on my experience on standuppaddlesurf.net
click here for overall race results
click here for Stand Up unlimited results

Check the video below, filmed by my friend Len Barrow at the finish of the race featuring interviews with the top finishers- Jamie Mitchell, Ekolu Kalama, and Kanesa Duncan.


2009 Molokai channel race finisher interviews from Zen Waterman on Vimeo.

Aloha,
Robert Stehlik
www.blueplanetsurf.com